MY MARRIAGE

I was lost until I met my husband. I know some people would say this is so anti-feminist, and I know it really does sound that way, but it is a fact that I can't deny. I went through so much depression from my mid-twenties until my mid-thirties. I would get drunk night after night just to cover the pain of my loneliness. I would fall asleep to Breakfast at Tiffanys night after night, wishing for my own version of Paul Varjak. I tried in so many ways to fill the emptiness and it was much worse because also during this time, I threw Jesus out of my life and really didn't have any hope. Men came and went like a flame being immediately squelched. After ten years of this agony, I finally pulled myself up by the boot strings...or should I say that Jesus gently wooed his way back into my heart, and I being extremely confused still but desperate, began longing for a man that just loved Jesus. I knew, after all I had been through, that a lover of Jesus was the only kind of man I would ever dare trust anymore.

A long time mama-like friend of mine at the beginning of 2010 told me over tea one day that she felt like I was going to have an amazing year. She also told me to ask my friends to be on the look out for any good men. So at work one day, I mentioned this to another teacher friend of mine and she said, "Let me see what I can do." A few days later, she said she had asked a friend and he knew someone that might be my fit. Yes, he was the man who is now my husband! First, we became Facebook friends and emailed back and forth. It made me already begin to trust him when I saw his admiration for C.S. Lewis - a religious skeptic turned faithful believer in Jesus. On August 12, 2010 we met at the Starbucks that will always be one of my most favorite places, we hugged and spent the next several hours laughing and talking - me especially enjoying his amazing storytelling of stories from the Bible...he set my mind at ease about some of my concerns and questions about God and showed me what a loving Father he is yet also the Emperor who stands for justice.

Our marriage is that which is filled with sparkly, magic dust! I really feel like I lead an immensely charmed life! Our secret is: 1) deep gratitude for each other: we went through vicious crap before meeting each other, 2) constant communication and utter honesty about how we feel and what is going on (even if it is brutal), 3) and tons of touching, kissing and passion! We are desperately in love!!!